a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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