Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
