I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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