i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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