That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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