Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
