If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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