Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
