My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
