she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
