Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
