What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize