his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
