one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
