We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I need a burrito and a hug.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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