yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
