I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
