Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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