so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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