Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
