on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
