You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
