I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
