2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Come see our sink grown plant.
He passed out mid-signature
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
