i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You are a booty call, not a friend.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
