...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
