Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
