yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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