Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
