ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
