just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
