Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
