We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i now understand why vodka
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
