um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way