You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
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is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
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Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed