You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.