ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
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Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
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My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.