I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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