You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
