He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
