So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
