I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
