Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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