I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize