i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
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