I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
