oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
