Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
