nut hugger
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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