Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
