god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
