My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
