Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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