White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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