The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
