Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
