do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
