she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
