Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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