I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
