I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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