Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize