He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
