I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
