I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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