she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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