im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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