Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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