She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
