Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
